


Bittersweet

by Polaroid_Memories



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Suppressed Feelings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 19:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polaroid_Memories/pseuds/Polaroid_Memories
Summary: Ignis struggles to deal with his feelings for Prompto, and each time he seems to get a handle on things, it just gets harder.





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for two of the days in Promnis week, I combined the Prompts "Pining" and "Ignis teaches Prompto how to cook" and somehow made both of those things incredibly sad.

**Step 1 - Simmer**

 

He hadn't managed to pinpoint the exact moment he started to fall but he knew for sure he was in deep now. Frankly it could’ve started from “Hi Ignis, I’m Prompto. Nice to meet you.”  


He had been fond of Prompto for such a long time that he hardly noticed he was slipping further.  
  
Recently though, he had noticed. Suppressed feelings began swelling up all at once and crashing over him relentlessly in waves, even at the slightest amount of praise from his crush. Moments where they would accidentally brush against each other sent hot needles through his veins.   
  
At first Ignis took it for infatuation but it was much more than that, he had a very distinct feeling that he just wanted to be _with_ Prompto. Always. 

Being around him felt like a healing salve. Prompto was never afraid to show his emotions, or perhaps he just never learnt to hide them, either way it was a trait that Ignis admired completely.    
  
He understood too though, that same quality was why Noctis was able to befriend Prompto.    
  
Yes, his feelings were profound, but he knew his place. He had wild notions that maybe his feelings would be reciprocated, but there were too many variables. And the worst case scenario was too much for him to bear.    
  
So, he gave himself internal rules:    
The first that he was to keep his feelings to himself.   
The second that he was not to monopolize Prompto’s time.   
  
The second part was a difficult balancing act since Prompto was naturally helpful by nature, so he made sure to decline offers as often as he accepted them.    
  
He could live like this comfortably, couldn’t he?    
  
  


**Step 2 - Boil**

 

Ignis entered Noctis’ apartment, greeted my the familiar chatter of his friends drifting out from the living area. Dominated as usual by Prompto’s lively tone and candor, as he crossed the threshold he picked up the tail end of the conversation.    
  
“I can hardly believe it, I feel like I’ve been blessed. Seriously! Oh! It’s Iggy! Hi!” Prompto bubbled, flashing a broad and bright grin, the kind that never failed to completely weaken Ignis’ defences.    
  
“You seem in high spirits today, care to divulge?” Ignis enquired, whilst setting down his briefcase by the sofa.    
  
“Oh Ignis!” Prompto’s smile got even wider.    
  
“Here we go again,” Gladiolus said laughing.   
  
“Can it Gladio! I can’t help it I’m just way too excited!” Prompto fired back.   
  
“Oh really? We didn’t notice,” Noctis joined in jibing at Prompto, who whilst still smiling stuck up his middle finger at Noctis before turning to address Ignis again.    
  
“Ignis, I’ve. I’ve landed a date with Cor! I mean. Ahhh!” Prompto raised his hands up to his face and covered his eyes, “I can’t. It’s too much!”   
  
Ignis kept his demeanor, raising an eyebrow as if to express interest, though his heart was sinking. He never imagined this outcome either, if anything he was just as surprised as Prompto was. But for the wrong reasons.    
  
He could feel an odd pain in his stomach as if someone had stuck a knife there and had begun to twist. Then the dissonance hit, Prompto looked so extremely happy, and Ignis was happy for him, but the jealousy was intense. He struggled to reconcile the two emotions, and all the while he never let his mask slip.   
  
“That sounds like a dream come true for you Prompto,” Ignis said and, despite how meticulously thought out it was, his reply sounded natural.    
  
“I know!” Prompto chimed right back.   
  
The catalogue of smiles that he had elicited from Prompto ran through his mind, none of them came even a fraction as close to the one Prompto was sporting now. His chest rent, his thoughts spiralling down fast, he needed something to distract himself, something normal.   
  
“Well, what would you say to a little dinner Prompto? Your choice, since you’re celebrating. We’ve plenty of ingredients in the fridge,” Ignis managed flawlessly.    
  
“You don’t have to really… Although if you’re offering I really like that green curry soup you make.”    
  
Ignis nodded. He knew that, of course he knew that. He kept track of everyone’s favourite dishes as a matter of course but, he’d paid special attention to Prompto’s. Making sure to dig them out whenever he thought Prompto was having a bad day, they never failed to bring joy.     
  
“Coming right up!”    
  
Cooking was a decent distraction at least, he got lost in the rhythm of the task.    
  
Tuning out was relatively easy since he wasn’t the focus of any of the conversations.   
  
Although he knew if he looked inattentive for too long it would be picked up. So after dinner he pulled a report out of his briefcase, he had previously been avoiding it as it was quite dull but at this point any distraction was preferable to Prompto’s inane gushing.  
  
“Specs do you ever stop working?” Noctis spoke to him directly, breaking his concentration.   
  
“Unfortunately I got a little behind today, please don’t mind me,” Ignis said, his eyes tracking immediately back down to the page.    
  
He spent the rest of the night unresponsive and learning a great deal about Citadel maintenance procedures.    
  
Luckily Prompto was staying at Noctis’ that night, he wasn’t sure he could stomach driving him home, and of course the guilt that came with that thought shackled to him, weighing him down even further.    
  
Gladiolus however had asked for a lift home, Ignis obliged, hoping he wouldn’t regret the favour.    
  
As soon as the car pulled into Gladiolus’ driveway he started talking, “Iggy, the others might not have noticed but I sure did.”   
  
“Whatever are you talking about?” Ignis was shaken but was determined to remain calm.   
  
“Cut the bullshit Iggy,” His words were pure pain.    
  
Ignis couldn’t respond, he just grabbed the steering wheel tighter, as if he squeezed hard enough the force alone would transport him home.   
  
“Look, I know. Or at least I suspected but tonight just confirmed it. You’ve had a crush on Prompto for a while right?”

Words failed him. Was he really that transparent? He’d tried his absolute best to hide his feelings.    
  
“Am I wrong?”    
  
He shook his head slowly, it was about all he could do to respond. He felt frozen.    
  
“Shit Iggy.”    
  
“Shit. Shit indeed,” he replied dryly, his humour at least hadn’t been lost, he laughed at himself, “You must think I’m pathetic.”   
  
“No. Of course not!” Gladiolus responded, his tone hostile as if he’d been offended by the very notion.   
  
“I’m sorry, I thought I was managing to keep it underwraps, clearly not.”   
  
“You have, there was just something a little off with you tonight. I asked Noctis privately and he seemed to think you were completely fine, so I thought I was just imagining it to be honest,” Gladiolus stated.   
  
Ignis swallowed hard before talking again, “How did you figure out-” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence out loud.   
  
“You’re soft on him Iggy, at first I thought it was because he wasn’t like us, you know initiated and trained, but over time I was more and more convinced it was because you had some kind of feelings about him.”   
  
Panic took over, a million questions called out over each other, vying to be the next sentence out of Ignis’ mouth. “Noctis!”   
  
“He doesn’t know anything, and Prom neither. I haven’t shared speculation, I wouldn’t do that to you. ‘Specially when it was just a gut feeling. You’re so guarded it took me a long while to piece it together.”   
  
“Good. Please. Keep this to yourself,” Ignis replied curtly.   
  
“Of course,” Gladiolus said easily.    
  
“I’d best be going, I’ve got meetings early in the morning.”   
  
“Iggy, if you ever wanna talk just say, yeah?” Gladiolus sounded compassionate, concerned even.   
  
Ignis nodded slightly, knowing he would have to be in absolute dire straights to even consider the offer. This conversation had already far exceeded his comfort levels as it was.   
  
“See ya tomorrow, and, don’t be too hard on yourself,” Gladiolus said as he exited the car   
  
“See you tomorrow Gladio,” He replied, eyes set straight ahead. The sound of the car door closing sent equal waves of relief and despair over him.    
  
He drove home, focusing intently on the road and the traffic, trying to force everything out of his mind.    
  
He finally made it to his front door, unlocked it slowly and pushed through into his apartment.  
  
  
  
The door clicked shut behind him.    
He leant back against it.    
Fighting tears.   
Failing.   
  
  
  
He slid down into the floor, heaving silent bitter paralyzing sobs.    
  
He didn’t want to do this so why?  
  
His thoughts spilled out of his mouth uncontrollably.   
  
“Why isn’t it me? What’s so great about Cor? Why does he get to be the one that makes Prompto smile like that? I should confess.”   
  
The last one struck hard, it knotted and twisted his guts, bile rose in his throat.    
  
If he confessed what then? He pondered briefly on his fantasy outcome. Prompto would ditch Cor, and they’d live happily ever after.    
  
But life wasn’t a wish fulfillment fantasy. More likely, confessing would ruin the group dynamic, and cause Prompto act totally differently. It would like make Prompto hyper aware and never able to relax, he’d try and be mindful and accepting because that’s... That’s just who he was. Perfect and empathetic, selfless and kind, strong and considerate.    
  
And then there was the worst case scenario, he’d leave. He’d be so uncomfortable that he’d leave. And then through selfishness Ignis would lose his crush, a valuable member of the Crownsguard and most of all, Noctis would lose his only  _ real _ friend.    
  
He punched the floor.    
  
He’d just have to live with it.    
It was the only way to keep Prompto in everyone’s lives.  
  
  
His crying dried out.    
He picked himself up.   
And carried on.   
  
  
  
**Step 3 - Reduce**

 

After the the first few weeks it became easier for Ignis to deal with the situation, it helped that Prompto in a relationship was even more endearing than ever before. He was giddy and constantly smiling, Noctis and Gladiolus often joked about how sickeningly sweet he was was, and Ignis joined in on the jibes for good measure. But secretly, he found Prompto’s doting adorable.    
  
He was getting a handle on his jealousy, letting the feeling pass through him.    
  
Occasionally Gladiolus would try to talk to him about it, but talking about it was too hard. It made the wounds open fresh, so he declined. Insisting it was easier. And it was easier.    
  
For a while.  
  
  
**Step 4 - Serve  
  
**   
  
Ignis had arrived at Noctis’ place first for once. Tonight was a simple but much needed movie night. Noctis and Prompto had exams coming up, so it had been agreed they should spend at least one night all together relaxing before weeks of ‘endless’ studying.   
  
He was part way through unpacking groceries when the intercom buzzed. It could only be Prompto, as Noctis and Gladio had training set for this evening and were due back later. His stomach felt heavy.   
  
They hadn’t spent any time alone together recently. He exhaled slowly and muttered, “It will be fine,” to himself.    
  
He lifted the receiver pressing it to his ear, “Hello?”   
  
“Ignis! Oh I’m so glad someone was here. Can ya let me in?” Prompto chimed.   
  
“Of course.”    
  
He pressed the door release and left the apartment door on the latch, wandering back to the kitchen to continue unpacking.    
  
A few short moments later Prompto entered the apartment. “Thanks Iggy!” he called from the hallway.    
  
“I couldn’t let you wait outside in the cold could I now?” Ignis replied as Prompto entered the living room.   
  
“You could, but you aren’t that mean,” Prompto replied flashing a small smile.    
  
In these moments he could pretend, he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But it didn’t stop him from imagining just for a moment, that he and Prompto were together.    
  
Ignis got to peeling the potatoes, normally Prompto would settle down on the couch and load up a video game but instead he was hovering around the kitchen counter.    
  
“What’s for dinner?” He asked.   
  
“Oven chips and pan-fried breaded fish. Noctis made me promise no veggies. But I’m still going to cook peas for everyone else,” Ignis stated, stealing a glance at Prompto in between taking strips of skin off of a potato.    
  
“Could you? Uhh- Nevermind.”

Ignis looked up at Prompto pointedly, signalling for him to continue.

“Uhh, I was wondering if you could teach me a few recipes, I… I really want to cook for Cor. He’s really terrible at eating properly since he's so busy, and I was wondering if it wasn't too much of a problem, maybe I could learn-”

“Yes,” he answered automatically, maintaining his composure despite the fire in the pit of his abdomen, burning jealousy, threatening to rise up. It took all of his conscious effort to continue, “It would be my pleasure,” 

A thought rose to the front of his mind. Liar.    
  
“Ahh you’re the best Ignis, oh but you’re always so busy, and finals are coming up. When will we have the chance?”   
  
Ignis chuckled softly before answering, “We could start now.”    
  
He couldn’t fight it, something about Prompto just lifted his mood. He decided to fight the guilt on this one, and just go with the flow.    
  
“Really?” Prompto replied eagerly.   
  
“Yes, really,” Ignis could feel a smile stretching his cheeks, probably his first genuine smile in weeks.    


“You’re the best!”   
  
“We’ll see about that, so, I know you are quite the capable cook. You’ve helped me enough times, so let’s work together making these fries and then I’ll show you the how to prepare the fish.”   
  
“Sure thing!”    
  
With very little instruction Prompto helped Ignis peel and cut the potatoes up into perfect fry shaped pieces. The pieces were then placed between two plates lined with kitchen paper to draw out some of the excess moisture before they were spread out evenly on a baking sheet and drizzled with a generous amount of olive oil and put in the oven.   
  
“Okay, whilst they are cooking we should have plenty of time, could you fetch some plain flour and panko from the cupboard?”   
  
Prompto nodded and scooted over to the dry ingredients cupboard, Ignis spared himself a brief moment to admire Prompto’s enthusiasm before grabbing two eggs and the fresh fish fillets from the refrigerator.    
  
Carefully he broke the eggs into a square dish and whisked them gently until they were an even pale yellow colour, he then set out two similar dishes.    
  
Prompto returned presenting the required ingredients.    
  
“Feels like there isn’t much flour left,” he stated setting the bags down on the side.    
  
“We won’t need much at all,” Ignis replied picking up the bag of flour and pouring into a dish until it was around a quarter of an inch deep.    
  
Prompto huddled closer in so he could see, their arms bumped together. Ignis nearly recoiled from the touch but managed to stay rooted.    
  
“It’s going to be double the amount for the panko, would you like to pour them?”   
  
“Oh sure!” Prompto swiftly filled the remaining dish with the breadcrumbs and finished just as Ignis had liberated the fish fillets from their plastic wrapper and laid down the polystyrene tray on the counter.    
  
“Okay. First, we take a fillet and place it into the flour, turning it over to coat it” Ignis announced each step before performing the action. “Then from the flour to the egg mixture, coating again, then into the panko, at this stage we turn the fillet over a few more times to make sure the surface is completely covered. Then transfer onto a clean plate ready for frying.”    
  
He looked down at Prompto, who had been nodding along to the instructions, he piped up, “Can I try the next one? If it goes weird I’ll just eat that piece,”    
  
“Of course you can,” Ignis smiled, “Although I’m sure it will be perfect.”   
  
“Whatever Iggy,” Prompto dismissed the idea, but tried nonetheless, so unsure of his ability but still eager to try.    
  
Ignis felt himself getting lost in his admiration for Prompto, watching as Prompto thoughtfully and precisely carried out his instructions.    
  
“Oh hey, It’s not that bad!” Prompto exclaimed.    
  
“It looks identical to mine Prompto, see I told you it would be perfect.”    
  
Prompto blushed slightly and their eyes met, he was too adorable, it really wasn’t fair. Ignis was caught in the moment, looking wordlessly and directly at his crush, freckled cheeks all rosy and flushed, deep blue eyes unceasing in their gaze, softening as the moment rolled on.    
  
“Would you care to prepare the remaining two fillets whilst I heat up the frying pan?” He said carefully, breaking the awkward moment of prolonged eye contact.    
  
“No probs,” Prompto responded.   
  
They set about their tasks wordlessly after that. Ignis could feel the edges of his composure start to unravel, he was confused, that moment definitely felt more charged to him than any other they’d shared. Eventually he concluded that he must be deflecting, or reading more into the situation and it was simply a case of Prompto enjoying being praised. He decided not to focus on it, instead making sure to wash his hands and set up the pan.    
  
He turned the pan on to a medium heat and added a generous amount of oil to it.    
  
“‘Kay, I’m done Iggy!” Prompto said cheerfully.   
  
The remaining two fillets lay on the plate looking just as good as the first two.    
  
“Well done. Ah-” Ignis was cut off by the sound of the kitchen timer beeping, “It’s time to turn over the fries.”    
  
“I got it!” Prompto picked up the oven gloves and removed the hot tray from the oven, the fries already smelt delicious. Prompto set the tray down on a heatproof mat on the counter-top and carefully used a fish slice to turn over the fries in batches and returned them to the oven quickly. “Okay, what next?”    
  
“The pan should be plenty heated now so we’re going to shallow fry the fish you prepared until they are golden brown.”   
  
“Cool!”    
  
Carefully, Ignis picked up each piece of breadcrumbed fish from the plate with tongs and dropped them into the frying pan side by side, the oil popped and fizzed in response.    
  
“About two to three minutes each side should do it,” Ignis stated.    
  
“It already smells delicious, seriously, I might start drooling.”   
  
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Ignis replied laughing.    
  
“Too late, it’s happening,” Prompto joked, mock wiping his chin with the back of his hand. Which only caused them both to laugh together.    
  
It was a good job Prompto was keeping track of the time because Ignis had not been, he turned the fish over with confidence. The breadcrumbs had become a delightful golden brown colour with no signs of burning.    
  
“Thank you Prompto.”   
  
“No probs, besides, I won’t learn if I don’t do it!”    
  
“That’s true, I think you’ve got a handle on this recipe. It’s fairly simple.”   
  
“Yeah, thank you so much, I guess I could’ve just looked up the recipe but I learn better when people show me. And you’re _ the best  _ cook  _ ever _ !”    
  
“I don’t know about that Prompto,” Ignis paused, he couldn’t help but smile, “I’m sure there are better.”   
  
“Well, I’d say you were the best cook I know, but I only know like, ten people so that doesn’t really seem like much of a compliment to me,” Prompto asserted.   
  
“I suppose so, I guess I’ll have to take the title of _ best cook ever _ for now, Oh!” Ignis exclaimed as he flipped all the fillets back over and observed they were cooked beautifully on both sides, “They’re done now, what’s keeping those two?” Ignis found himself wondering out loud as he turned off the stovetop.    
  
Prompto took his phone out, “I haven’t had any messages saying they’d be late.”    
  
“Curious, perhaps they are simply caught in traffic,” As Ignis said this he checked on the fries which were similarly beautifully cooked, he turned the oven down to a warm temperature to keep them hot.   
  
He then looked to Prompto, about to speak again, but stopped when he saw Prompto had that sickly sweet smile on his face and was typing out a message on his phone. Ignis resolved not to stare, though now his mood had dropped right back down. He knew who Prompto was messaging and had absolutely no plans on finding out the messages contents.    
  
He set out another fresh plate and lined it with kitchen paper. He took out the cooked fish fillets from the pan and laid them on top to soak up the excess oil, after he was satisfied he added them into the oven alongside the fries to keep them warm until the others got back.    
  
Prompto slid his phone away, still with that smile on his face.    
  
A beautiful smile, that once brought simple uncomplicated joy to Ignis had now become a source of instant conflict within him.    
  
He steadied his resolve, reaffirming that seeing Prompto smile at all was a gift, no matter how bittersweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was a strangely cathartic piece to work on, even if it was a bit tricky to finish.  
> Shout outs to Kya who helped me to realise I should finish this! She's over at https://kya-writes-fiction.tumblr.com/
> 
> You can find me over on tumblr at https://its-polaroid-memories.tumblr.com/ , come chat to me if you wanna :)


End file.
